All right, that's it. I've had it with you, America, and your lame sense of being "entertained." Sure, I fall for Hollywood's tricks more often than not, becoming enamored with something because of this or that that reminds me of something I genuinely loved at one point, but no more! Thanks to Rob Cohen's THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, I have decided that you, m'lady, are full of rancid shit.The movie itself wasn't horrible; mildly enjoyable adventure film, I'd say. Not the disaster that THE SCORPION KING was, but close enough to THE MUMMY RETURNS territory as to wonder what the hell the filmmakers could possibly be thinking. After a solid first half, the film derails from its fragile and hastily laid tracks by implementing an attempt at humor so egregious to anyone who halfway has a brain that they should wind up hating this movie.
In the midst of a fight with some bad guys, a few Yeti are called into action - okay, it's a fantasy action film and we're in Nepal, so why not? But can someone please tell me why the hell there's a sequence where one Yeti punts an enemy off the mountain, looks over to his friend behind him, and expresses pure joy when the observer pronounces his field goal is "good" by making the standard American football signal for it? HOW THE FUCK DOES A YETI, admittedly a fictional creature, KNOW WHAT THE FUCK AMERICAN FOOTBALL IS?!?!?!?
And why are YOU laughing at it, you standard American idiots I saw the film in an auditorium full of? Is that "clever" to you? I doubt it. I think you're just that stupid.
Go screw yourself, THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR!
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